'Critique on Masculine or Feminine: You Be The Judge\r'

'Answer the following questions as exhaustively as possible:\r\nWrite the thesis program line in the space provided. Is it a clear idea, or would it be violate for the generator to express his thesis/ need in an some early(a) way?\r\nâ€Å"As an adult gay female, I take a shit seen and can understand the narrator’s feelings of confusion with sexuality identity, as discussed in the report by Lewis Nordon, â€Å"The All-Girl Football police squad” This would appear to be the thesis state manpowert, that on that point was not an even brace between the generators experience, and the reputation she read.\r\nExplain how hale the entryductory carve up introduces the text and its author, establishes a thesis disceptation based on the story and the source’s in-person definition of masculinity/femininity, and establishes an organizational cast for the rise. What tinctures can you make to improve the intro split? What further information does the pull throughr need to provide near the military issue of the evidence in the intro divide?\r\nThe writer introduces herself in a compel way, since she is a gay female, and is speaking close to gender identity issues. Her concluding statement,. â€Å"Ultimately, I feel the narrator learned that there atomic function 18 masculine and feminine traits in each individual and it’s ok to express the traits of each gender whether you are male or female.” â€seems to be lose the antecedent, as the story she read was mentioned in the firs two dissevers, and then not mentioned over again until the end.\r\nI feel the thesis statement would have got been more accurate had it been in the first place about her experience with the two men who performed in drag, or if her study had acknowledge an equal amount about the story she cited. Her descriptive text is engaging and does manage the issues at hand, however the introductory split up hinted at unfastened that did not appear.\r\nWhere could the writer add more examples from the story and his/her private experience to support the thesis statement?\r\nI would suggest including information about religious views, and weaving the story cap qualification in with her own experience; maculation including content from the story, in order to replicate some of her own experience with that of the storys author.\r\nDoes the writer include the required number of quotes (3)? Where could the writer include more direct quotes from the story?\r\nThe writer included the correct number of quotes, but could have added a few more in the personal banknote areas. Overall, the attempt was organized well, aside from the hints on the thesis statement that were not addressed. I felt the writer could have do this essay better by make-up her thesis statement by and by she wrote the essay itself. I phone she had an idea of what her content would be, but in doing the writing, it veered into some other areas not co ver in her thesis.\r\nHow is the essay organized (clearly, logically, confusingly?). Suggest an election way to organize the essay.\r\nThe essay was well-written, clear, and informative. I believe the essay writers thesis was illustrated sufficiently. The simply suggestion I would make is to turn back the references to the Lewis Nordon story, â€Å"The All-Girl Football Team” in the halfway portions of her essay, so that the thesis will roost clear.\r\nRead the last dissever of the essay genuinely carefully. Explain how well it draws a conclusion about the topic of the essay. go at least(prenominal) one suggestion for how the writer could improve the conclusion.\r\nThe last paragraph summarizes and reaches a logical conclusion precise well. The only suggestion I would liberty chit is to incorporate in the conclusion what the essay writer learned, since she spent some date including personal experience within the subject matter.\r\nPart 2: Following the directions below, write your comments on the essay itself:\r\nIdentify the strongest paragraph in the essay, explaining why it is the strongest. ·\r\nIdentify the weakest paragraph in the essay, explaining in why it is the weakest.\r\nThe strongest paragraph in the essay was the last one, where she encapsulated the ideas of the absolute essay; its concise, thorough and on target. I wouldnt qualify any of her paragraphs as â€Å"weaker,” as they are all important to the essays constitution and development.\r\nCheck all the quotes in the essay. argon they properly introduced/incorporated and cited according to the rules completed on the â€Å"MLA Quoting Made Easy” firing?\r\nThe essay writer did not include parenthetical page numbers after her quotes, as described in MLA conventions.\r\nIn the space below, write at least a five-sentence paragraph that explains your overall answer to the essay. What are the essay’s biggest strengths? Of what would you exchangeable t o see more? What do you think are the writer’s biggest concerns? What questions remained nonreciprocal? What does the writer need to work on the most?\r\nThe essay flowed well and covered the important points of her thesis statement, while excessively accomplishing a feeling of accessibility by the essay writers inclusion of her own experiences with those who sample with gender roles. The strength, then, would be the essay writers ability to personalize the information and also compute the meaning of her previous experience in relations to the subject matter, although I would have liked to see more quotes from the Nordon story.\r\nThe writers biggest concerns seemed to be a desire to portray gender issues in a fair context, without overly-romanticizing the conclusion. new(prenominal) than that, I have no other suggestions for improvement, as this writer did a very good job.\r\n'